Deep in despair

I been walking around with my head down like the sun ain’t gone shine again. I been sulking in my pain, l been literally going insane like I don’t know that a rainbow comes after the rain. I been feeling sorry for myself, I been deteriorating my own health, I been holding back from me, and I’m overwhelmed with jealousy. I know it’s not right, it’s not even me to envy, but I’m not me anymore. I’m standing outside, unsure of what door to open, I been just sitting around and hoping. What is hope with no effort, what are goals with no work, every time I take a step though it seems like I’m getting hurt, the devil on my back, I just want him off. Stop tempting me, stop attacking me, I want you away from me. I rest my head in a pit of fire, whatever it takes to please my desires. I won’t let you win Lucifer, I won’t acknowledge you. I stomp on you, spit on you, you can’t have me, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ! I just want to live my life!


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