Brainstorm

Waking up in the morning is a drag, as I step into reality I look for a cigarette to prepare. I get myself ready to make it through another day, I make plans to fill the emptiness in my heart… Why I choose to keep fighting is clear to me; I can’t figure out how to give up. I look for ways to please myself I cum ten times a day, I read, I write, I try to pay attention in school. I try to eat three times a day, every day I promise I will make a way. I don’t want to struggle anymore, but I’m losing strength I’m in the midst of the rain, struggling to rid my approaching future for struggle, but I always say maybe its too late. They don’t like me anymore, they’ve turned their backs against me. I was always high, I worked under the influence, I’m childish, I’m fat, I don’t keep myself up anymore, my transmission died I’m of no use anymore, but was I any use before, I walk in and I shut the door; I disrobe and I admire my beauty. Then I look a little closer I’m a monster, I lie because I can, I run into the hands of the one’s who are against me, oh how I just want the hands to rub against me, breathe upon me and make me shiver, make me weak, can’t I still be a queen. I’m too nice and I’m too mean… I’m to conservative , but I always manage to be seen, I always manage to be heard, my words seem to be absurd, This is all I guess what I deserve, but It hits me all at once no reserves…. I persevere consistently, someday they’ll be missing me, wonder if they’d rather be kissing me, or of they would have just listened to me, did I cry for help did you get my sos Hello help me I’m suffering from distress, can I rest, am I blessed? Guess I have to be otherwise I wouldn’t continue on, guess I would have been long gone… Guess the loud is getting to me, is that gunfire I hear, is it near, is it here, is it time, or do I have time left, if I just take this last step, before I run out of breath, would you breathe into my lungs and give me another chance, or was that my last chance, oh I act like a man, but I think like a woman… I guess I have it all wrong, I’m too strong, but I’m weak, shit that was the seventh time this week, been thuggin all year, but I don’t ball the women don’t cheer I’m just here, are those police sirens are the lights red and blue? Take them bitches on a Chase it’s the world against me and you.

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