Relapse

I was almost through this, but then I relapsed. I was almost happy, but I fell back. I never get enough, it’s always too much. Or it lacks. I need psychiatric treatment, I’m feeling like a demon. I pray to the Lord, and I beg him for forgiveness but, I can’t help but to think its too late for this. I tested you, I set goals to do better, but I knew better. I had no faith in my ability to succeed, but I begged you to guide me. I guess I ignored the signs, because I ended up right back here between these lines, awaiting my fate, though I still have faith. I heard that’s what gets you through, when you think it’s too late, when you think its nothing else you can do, that faith the size of a mustard seed will get you through. So I’m banking on that, I let it go but I can’t help but to know that I was almost over with this but I relapsed, it’s like being addicted to crack. I keep thinking its over, but it never was over the first time, I keep thinking I can’t change, I keep thinking I went back I relapsed.

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