Real?

The only thing fake about me is my hair, please don’t go there. My persona is so real people try to touch it to get the feel.  But then I feel as If people see that and then take advantage of me, corrupt my thinking, and curve my honesty, people just do what they want to do to me. I am a vulnerable person, I’m so nervous and so anxious, I’m just looking for someone to save me, bring me into reality. I have this one life, and I feel like its passing me by, like I’ve been asleep the entire time. I give people chance after chance to fuck over me, then its a surprise when I start distributing fuckery. I try to stay true but I guess I have breaking points too. I guess sometimes I let temptations get the best of me, I suppose sometimes I really don’t care what people think. I might have known what to do from the beginning, I may have twisted it all up on purpose, and confused myself, I should have known from the beginning.  I could have ignored my first mind, I think I heard a voice say don’t do it, ok you choose. I bet I coached myself the whole way, I had that feeling. I’m just young for I don’t know what I’m dealing with, all I know is this is making me sick. I know I’m too real to be feeling this ill, I know that I’m too smart to be looking this stupid. I know I wish I could go back, and turn away from that.

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