Sorry

Sitting up in my room feeling sorry for myself, mama keep saying sorry for yourself, stop taking those pills, you do shit to yourself. I call her to listen to the tone of her voice, does she love me? How can she not knowing what I’m going through, how can she still make me cry, and not ask why. She always said watch your own ass, snakes come out like blades in the grass. Put on your coat or you will catch a cold, she still doesn’t understand I don’t fit the mold. I don’t have my own mind, I am a follower, so what are you doing? Lead me don’t leave me, I don’t search the aisles alone, I am so vulnerable and afraid,I just want to slice my wrist open and watch the blood until I pass out, take these pills one at a time until I black out. Smoke this blunt until I can’t think drink until I lash out….

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