Freewriting

Where can I go to just breakdown and cry? Lay my head on a shoulder and ask why? Better yet how? What am I supposed to do? When I can be who I am supposed to be? Why I have a reason to live, but I can’t pinpoint what it is. From a wise persons point of veiw I consider myself a fool. But the main and the first wrong is I know what I am doing. I know what I am capable of. I choose to do what I do. But the foolish part is that I don’t know what I’m capable of, I live with the wrong fear in my heart for the wrong reasons. I know right I do wrong. My relationship would not be the average love song, My every move is questionable, but my motives are scarce. Its not a lot of things I really care about. It is hard for me to love. But when I do I know it, its a pity I can’t show it. Because what you do to me, how you truely view me, what you accuse me of: not loving you.. is far from the truth. Tears in my eyes as write this baby im still willing to fight for this. I don’t mean to come off so abrubt. But I have had enough, my tone, my body languge, my attitude may be too much. But my demeanor is always at first calm. I mean no harm. I am an equal oppurtunist, I just want what’s fair. I don’t like to play games, I dont want to guess. I only want to be with you. Baby all the bull shit, I been through, we been through I just really want to be within you because baby I see how you see me. See me..the last thing I want to do is leave. But, then my geniune love for you kicks in. Then, I see that you clearly deserve better. Not that I take the easy route, I take the lost. I sacrifice, not give up. I do what is right. But that is too complex.  But it is really clear that love interferes. Love brings fears,tears,mirrors… baby I love you and I could go on and on. But I know what your pain feels like because I caused it. I can glance in your eyes and find it. Baby don’t tell me I’m crazy. Don’t say this is not true. Know though that I most definitely really do love you.

Posted from WordPress for Android

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s