Real

I always feel like something is going to happen to me, I am vulnerable to flesh. Both of my feet are in the world, I am a sinner.The best thing I could do for my self is start fresh. But I am stubborn, I want my cake, and I want to eat it too. My world is not black and white, its green and blue. Nothing is yes or no. Most things operate by paper, but others operate out of the ordinary. I make up my life, as I go. I have no plans or obligations. But I do find myself in complex situations. Questioned relationships are all I know. With held tears, unlimited fears, of risks, of consequences, coincidences, afraid of life itself. I am afraid of myself. I won’t let myself prosper. I have no motivation. What is happening to me, who will I become. Will I live long, or die early? Will I succed or will I fail? Will I have children? Will I marry the man I love? Questions that haunt my existence astonished by my still being. Who am I? Who will I become? I am The Lord’s child.

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